w4sex — first date

My dating profile is a work of

strategic chaos, a carefully constructed trap I've laid to weed out the unworthy. The main photo is a shot of me holding a massive catfish. I have this tiny smear on my face that I tell people is fish guts. It's a test.… Continue →

6d

I hooked up with this weird girl

from the app fuckdate. Her profile was just a blurry picture of a ceiling fan and the word "yes." I should have known right then. She showed up at my door wearing a raincoat, but it wasn't raining. Inside, she was… Continue →

1w

My last date started going sideways the

moment I saw her standing by the soda machine, looking as out of place as a ballet dancer at a monster truck rally. I'd suggested McDonald's because it was cheap, casual, and, most importantly, I was broke. She'd agreed… Continue →

1w

I just recently got divorced from a

14 year marriage and kinda struggling finding a date. Bars and stuff like that don't seem to work for me lol, I'm not that attractive to women. Loosing a few pounds might help. Still going thru a bunch of apps right now… Continue →

2w

So last night rolled around, and I

was fresh out of fucks to give about anything that didn't involve a happy hour and a guaranteed score. My phone buzzed. Instabang. A new match. Her profile pic was pure gold—all teeth and a bikini that was probably… Continue →

2w

I make a habit out of setting

up online dates and cancelling. It's my real hobby, honestly. My art form. The build-up is everything. I'll spend an hour crafting the perfect witty texts, picking out a shirt that says "I tried, but not too hard," and… Continue →

2w

My date last night was a fuckn

disaster. It started the second I walked into the restaurant and saw she had used her profile picture from at least fifty pounds and a decade ago. Not just a little older, but like she had time-traveled from the future… Continue →

2w

So I was fucking around on that

LickToLike app, the one where you swipe right to lick and left to like. Dumbest shit ever but it is better than Tinder at this point. Swiping through endless profiles of basic bitches and then I see her. Some chick, 22.… Continue →

2w

Dated this black hottie I found on

the bootycallz app and the connection was electric in a way I hadn't anticipated. What was supposed to be a straightforward, no-strings-attached hookup turned into hours of conversation, her laugh echoing in my… Continue →

3w

The weekend was awesome! Met 2 girls

on separate occasions and ended up taking them both back to my place at different times. The first one, a fiery redhead, barely made it through the door before I had her pinned against the wall, my hands sliding up her… Continue →

3w