3h • 0 replies
My first app date was supposed to
be casual, but it turned into a comedy of errors. We matched, talked for two days, and decided to meet at his place. The moment I walked in, his massive dog jumped on me, knocking over a vase that shattered everywhere. While we were cleaning up, his roommate walked out of his bedroom completely naked, thinking my date was alone. Then when we finally got to his room, we couldn't figure out how to work his "smart" blinds that kept opening and closing randomly. The sex itself lasted approximately three minutes before he got a leg cramp and had to stop. I left feeling like I'd just lived through a sitcom episode, and we never spoke again after I sent him a thumbs-up emoji the next morning.
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